My mornings are being ruined lately by the Chris Evans Breakfast Show on Radio 2. The carrot topped one can be irritating at the best of times, but his manic promotion of the execrable Christmas single by the Military Wives is doing my head in – and that of my girlfriend Claire. So much so that Evans and co. have been banned from our kitchen until after Christmas when, hopefully, this piece of musical detritus that he’s so evangelically promoting will have gone the way of Christmas turkey carcasses and uneaten sprouts i.e. to the landfill.

Oh I know it’s all in a good cause and we should all get behind it, but for those of a cynical nature this is easier said than done due to a couple of salient points that seem to be have been overlooked by Mr. Evans, namely:

  1. Since the BBC is supposed to be independent what’s he doing promoting a single that’s competing with another heap of dross (Little Mix anyone?) for the Christmas honours?
  2. Just because it’s for a good cause doesn’t mean to say ‘Wherever You Are’ isn’t utter bilge to rival the worst of Cliff Richard

Of course, we can’t say any of this because it would be interpreted as criticism of ‘our brave boys’ in Afghanistan, which raises another interesting point. The servicemen out there are regularly referred to as ‘heroes’, but are they? Surely not every single one of them can be a hero? Seems to me anyone who chooses to do a job which may lead to you quite literally wasting your life for a country and culture that would rather you were never there in the first place is a bit daft if anything.

Again, you can’t say that in public so we go on fooling ourselves that the military are on a brave and worthwhile mission in Afghanistan when it’s really no different from any other foreign incursion into the country over the past few centuries i.e. a demonstrably foolish and utterly pointless action with no chance whatsoever of success. And it’s about time politicians and generals stopped telling us otherwise.

But, of course, my ranting is all in vain. Come Christmas ‘Wherever You Are’ will be at number one in the charts (poptastic, friend) and come the New Year more British servicemen will die needlessly in Afghanistan as our government of morons continues to waste lives and money on a foreign policy that is beyond pathetic.

Happy Christmas everyone!



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