I recently sent a feature proposal to the editor of a Swiss based internet mag that goes by the awful title of ‘Gatsby Magazine’. It’s aimed at the kind of high flyers who wear too much jewellery and appear to have bodies made of soft matte plastic so I thought there might be some money in writing for it – mistakenly it seems as reading between the lines it seems it may be going under.

Should this be the case I dare say the world of internet publishing will survive its demise…

Anyway, I asked if they’d be interested in a piece on surfing in the Maldives, to which I received the reply ‘…crisis has hit and the Maldives are going under, so it’s not of interest to us. We are not currently commissioning anyone.’

My incredibly witty response was ‘Thanks Stefan – I think it will be a few years yet before the Maldives sink mate! You’re the first editor I’ve come across who has turned down a travel story because the place in question is about to sink. Excellent! Cheers. Alf’.

Back came the polite but stinging response ‘If you read my email again you may get the irony… As I said, we are not currently in a position to commission anyone. There is no reason to get snappy. Please don’t contact us again. Best regards etc.’

Imagine my horror at discovering I could no longer detect irony when it spat in my face. And even worse, my puerile response, to the effect that a lack of a sense of humour was only to be expected from someone of Swiss background was met with the terse remark ‘I’m Brazilian. Goodbye’.

So, that’s me put in my place.

Don’t bother reading the mag tho’, it’s full of pretentious tosh – when you can actually access it. Oh, go on then, find out for yourself - www.gatsbymagazine.com



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