Like most people I get regular requests to become someone’s ‘friend’ on Arsebook or Twatter, often from people I’ve never met, and for various reasons – invariably business related – I’ve had to sign up to both these sites.

God help me. What a quivering waste of space they both are. Why would I want to ‘poke’  someone or write on their ‘wall’? Why would anyone on the planet give a rat’s arse about what I or anyone else is doing in less than 140 characters?


Sure, it’s an age thing to detest all this drivel (well, up to a point – Stephen Fry has plummeted in my estimation since he started annnouncing loudly and regularly that being a Twatterer is his idea of fun), but really, what is the point of all this?

If you can only be bothered to stay in touch with ‘friends’ via Facebook just how much of a friend is he/she/it?

And if you really must take time out of your thrilling life to sit down, turn on a computer, log on and then send me 140 characters informing me of what world changing event you’ll be participating in today once you get off the bloody computer might I suggest that you GET A FECKIN’ LIFE and go out and do it rather than (t)wittering on about it.



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