But as this season has worn on they’ve packed down to the extent where there have been days when it’s felt like my feet are racing around on a private little adventure of their own inside the boots, so on a spur of the moment decision a couple of weeks ago I decided to pop into The Boot Lab (www.thebootlab.co.uk) in Courchevel 1650 since they offer a free assessment of the state of your boots, feet, stance and all that kind of stuff that makes a difference when you’re skiing.

Also, if you’ve bought a pair of boots at ProFeet in Fulham (www.profeet.co.uk) you can have them tweaked for free at The Boot Lab if you’re skiing here since the two businesses work in partnership. They also work closely with the British Ski Bootfitters Association (www.skibootpro.co.uk) so clearly we’re dealing with people who know a thing or two about boots, feet and skis here.

‘So what?’ I hear you scoff, ‘It’s still just another boot fitting service…” Well yes, it is indeed another boot fitting service, but the difference between the Boot Lab and so many other places I’ve been before was that A) I didn’t feel like I was being sold a service whether I needed it or not; B) said service was friendly, informative and relaxing – in particular no patronising talking down to the customer, which I hate; and C) their service works.

The Boot Lab’s Gavin Jones wasn’t lying when he said “We’re passionate about skiing and helping our clients have the best experience they can” – we talked skis, boots, snow and little else whilst he assessed my boots and my stance and eventually told me “Yes the boots are the right size for you but you just need better support for your arches so your feet don’t feel like they’re swimming around in them”.

This contrasts markedly with a spotty know-it-all in a large London ski shop where I went for a boot fitting 18 months ago. He wrongly managed to persuade me I’d bought (elsewhere) the wrong size of boots which resulted in me changing them for what were indeed the wrong sized boots and then subsequently selling the new wrong size boots on for a song.

So, over the next hour or so Gavin fitted me for some insoles, which I was then able to take straight out onto the slopes and test drive. I know this sounds too good to be true, but my feet felt better straight away. They hadn’t been particularly uncomfortable before, but now they were in foot heaven.

I’ve now been using the insoles for a couple of weeks and whilst I wouldn’t go so far as to say its revolutionised my skiing it’s just great to have comfortable feet and well-fitting boots every time I ski. Which is surely all anyone can expect from a pair of ski boots?

Fork Tree Skis (www.forktreeskis.com) is a rarity in the skiing world – a one-man enterprise selling unique hand-made planks to discerning skiers looking for anything from simple one-off graphics on their skis to tip-to-tail customising in which the customer chooses the shape, length, width, rocker, materials, graphics and everything else they can think of for their dream skis.

All this ski porn is the handiwork of Tom Pinches, the only custom ski manufacturer in Britain, and I met up with him the other day to talk – well, ski porn.

Tom is based every winter in Courchevel 1650, where he works as a boot fitter at The Boot Lab (www.thebootlab.co.uk) and also sells his distinctive hand crafted skis. These he makes over the course of the summer from his home in Henley-on-Thames at a rate of around four to five pairs per week – rather less than the likes of Salomon and K2 turn out each week.

Tom taught himself how to make skis, turning out his first pairs in 2007, a couple of which he and his girlfriend still use today, so they obviously can’t have been that bad for first attempts. And five years on Fork Tree Skis is producing some fifty pairs of skis a year – all hand made by Tom – which means that clients are guaranteed to be standing in the lift queue with a pretty exclusive pair of planks.

I asked him how the whole process of buying a pair of Fork Tree Skis works. “I spend a long time working with my clients, finding out the basics like height, weight, age , skiing ability, how much they ski, what they ski – and of course what they want from their skis.

“I emphasise the importance of honesty – if you talk your skiing ability up I’m only going to end up making a pair of skis that you can’t ski on, although I also have the problem sometimes of people talking themselves down which is no help to me either!”

Tom explains that you have three essential options when buying a pair of Fork Tree Skis. You can have a pair made from scratch to your exact specifications; you can buy a Fork Tree model that you’ve already skied on and liked, with your own graphics added; or you can use your favourite ski as a basis for the design of your Fork Tree skis with your own choice of graphics.

“About forty per cent of my clients simply want their own individual graphics on their skis,” says Tom. He reckons another thirty per cent buy for the custom shape and a further thirty per cent on the basis of Fork Trees being both unusual and unique.

Tom took me through what’s involved in making a pair of his skis, from designing the ski template using CAD to cutting the bamboo core, preparing the edges, top sheets, vibration damping, adding graphics and eventually putting the skis into a ski press to emerge (after a few finishing touches) all shiny bright and ready to hit the pow. Of course it’s all considerably more technical and detailed than this, but if you want to know the specifics I suggest you contact Tom and order a pair of skis….

That said you’ll have to wait until next season to use them – Tom is happy to keep Fork Tree Skis a small operation, taking orders this winter for skis that will be made over the summer ready to hit the slopes next winter.

It’s a considerably longer process for both manufacturer and consumer than buying an off-the-shelf model, but there again how many of us ever get to ski on a pair of one-off skis made to our own design – possibly even in the shadow of the landmark that inspired their name?

Oh, and by the way you’ll be surprised at just how reasonable Fork Trees prices are…

Without further ado we hit it, and for the next couple of minutes the only sound was the “Drrr…drrr” of our skis carving through the corduroy with almost metronomic precision, along with increasingly heavy breathing and, in my head at least, a wild “Yee-ha!” or two.

We got in three descents before things became too busy – 1,740 metres of perfect ‘vert’ before it was even time for coffee. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday morning.

And as if that wasn’t enough the second journey back to our start point in the Vizelle bubble was one of the funniest lift experiences I’ve ever had. It appears the Toffs are in town, for we found ourselves squeezed in between six aristocratic types from South Kensington and the Shires.

How do I know this? Their remarkable conversation gave it away. First of all there was loud braying for ‘Dustbin’ to get in the bubble before it left without him, ‘Dustbin’ being ‘Toffese’ for ‘Justin’ (our betters are such wits don’t you think?).

And then they started babbling across the bubble at each other about their pal Lord Chomondley ( I kid you not) totally oblivious to the presence of us common people. Had I been working for the now dead and buried News of the World I would have had tomorrow morning’s front page written by the time we got out of the lift, but of course I’m not so I cannot tell you what I learnt – other than that Toffs are indeed a very different breed to the rest of us.

So, all in all a spiffing day, what what?!

As we sat beside the woodburner in their cosy lounge with a glass of red and chilled out guests passing to and fro I asked them how they’d come to set up the business, and here’s the story they told – in true Yorkshire fashion it’s simple, straightforward and no nonsense and I’m relating it to you because it shows that the dream so many of us have – of a life in the mountains – can be achieved if tha applies thissen…

“We had our first ever chalet holiday in Les Arcs in 2009,” said James, 34, “and on the way back home we discussed the holiday and the idea of living in the Alps and basically thought we could do a better job of running a chalet – so we set about doing so.

“Within four weeks of getting home from that holiday we were back in the Alps having taken more time off from our jobs in Leeds in recruitment [James] and the law [Gemma] to search for a chalet. We didn’t find anywhere straight away but came out again for a further weekend and used St. Martin as a base – it wasn’t necessarily where we wanted to set up our business – but as it happens we succeeded in finding a chalet here that we could rent rather than buy and that was ideal for us.

“So, we then spent April to November of 2009 sorting out all the paper and legalwork for the business, setting up a website, advertising, etcetera at the same time as working in our regular jobs and trying to keep secret from our bosses the fact that we were going to be resigning soon!

“We both packed in our careers in Leeds in November and drove out to the Alps in a £1900 Land Rover for our new life with no real idea how to run a chalet. We’d never even skied the Three Valleys before! Our first guests were a New Zealand family looking to enjoy their first white Christmas, and they didn’t seem at all phased when we told them they really were our first guests – ever.

“But amazingly it’s all worked out – we look back and wonder what made us think we could do it all now, but we’re obviously getting something right as we’ve had loads of repeat custom – one guest has even been out seven times and is booked twice more for this winter”.

Indeed, Green Mountain Chalets has only ever had five star reviews on Trip Advisor, has been recommended by the Guardian and has been voted number one of eleven speciality accommodation listings in St. Martin de Belleville (the prettiest of the Three Valleys resorts, incidentally).

Gemma, 30, probably hit the nail on the head with what makes Green Mountain Chalets work . “The personal touch is important for us,” she told me. That’s apparent as soon as you walk in to either of the two chalets they now operate – there’s an easy going atmosphere and great banter between James and Gemma and their guests, and if you add to that a superb cave for the appetising and filling dinners they provide and warm, cosy lounges and bedrooms in which to relax then really the winning formula isn’t all that hard to attain.

What is hard to attain, however, is the drive, enthusiasm and sheer ballsiness to go out and get what you want in the first place, which is really the moral of this tale. For how many people spend most if not all of their lives dreaming of living in the mountains but never actually do anything practical about it?

Sure, James and Gemma had a lot in their favour when they decided to change the course of their lives – young, driven, personable and with no family commitments it was maybe easier for them than for others – but the bottom line is they weren’t content to merely dream and talk about it, they went out and did it.

Now they get to hit the slopes of the world’s biggest ski area at least three or four times a week, can hike and ride those same mountains in summer, and regularly make new friends from all over the world – all at the same time as making a living doing something they clearly enjoy.

What’s not to like?

But don’t take my word for it. Check out Green Mountain Chalets yourself at www.greenmountainchalets.co.uk or (www.facebook.com/greenmountainch).

You could even book a week with them – they still have space in early February and are offering special deals in March, and with the snow as good as it is this season the skiing above St. Martin should be sensational.

Oh I know it’s all in a good cause and we should all get behind it, but for those of a cynical nature this is easier said than done due to a couple of salient points that seem to be have been overlooked by Mr. Evans, namely:

1. Since the BBC is supposed to be independent what’s he doing promoting a single that’s competing with another heap of dross (Little Mix anyone?) for the Christmas honours?
2. Just because it’s for a good cause doesn’t mean to say ‘Wherever You Are’ isn’t utter bilge to rival the worst of Cliff Richard

Of course, we can’t say any of this because it would be interpreted as criticism of ‘our brave boys’ in Afghanistan, which raises another interesting point. The servicemen out there are regularly referred to as ‘heroes’, but are they? Surely not every single one of them can be a hero? Seems to me anyone who chooses to do a job which may lead to you quite literally wasting your life for a country and culture that would rather you were never there in the first place is a bit daft if anything.

Again, you can’t say that in public so we go on fooling ourselves that the military are on a brave and worthwhile mission in Afghanistan when it’s really no different from any other foreign incursion into the country over the past few centuries i.e. a demonstrably foolish and utterly pointless action with no chance whatsoever of success. And it’s about time politicians and generals stopped telling us otherwise.

But, of course, my ranting is all in vain. Come Christmas ‘Wherever You Are’ will be at number one in the charts (poptastic, friend) and come the New Year more British servicemen will die needlessly in Afghanistan as our government of morons continues to waste lives and money on a foreign policy that is beyond pathetic.

Happy Christmas everyone!

This admirable diversity of sartorial style and peacockery has recently led me to question two aspects of the phenomenon, namely:

Why do corpulent chavs have such a fixation on sportswear when the only thing they’re ever likely to get in a sweat over is dropping their packet of chips?

And why do toffs insist on wearing their keks at half-mast (although I may have the answer to this one – it could be to better reveal their snappy taste in lurid socks and well-polished brogues; or it is perhaps to assist small mammals in entering and exiting bottom of said trews?).

But these are merely guesses. If anyone has the authoritive answer to the above questions, do tell…